ErectionS… They come and they go and sometimes they sometimes cum
I have a checkered history with erections. It’s quite ironic that I’ve ended up in a business where erections are a commodity that are valued and revered.
I have always in the past (and also now) struggle with maintaining my erections both professionally and privately. When I am with someone else I generally am unsatisfied with how they are playing with my cock as I have a very specific need, that even with instruction is hard to replicate. And I also go into my head (the big one up top that does not shut up :) and I start to be fearful of performance and therefore that hijacks my performance. This however is not the case when I’m pleasuring myself. When I’m home alone and in charge and either watching porn or just fantasising, my cock is as hard as a rock. It’s so beautiful I love that feeling. However it rarely has the same consistency when I am in connection with other.
This awareness of myself is part of the reason why I facilitate pleasure sessions the way that I do.
In the initial chat at the beginning of a session I make sure to clear the air and to be clear that my sessions are about comfort and connection and relaxation as well as arousal. And contrary to popular opinion arousal doesn’t necessarily have to happen in the cock alone. And I make that clear at the beginning that we are going to explore all of the different components of arousal along the way to the cock arousal at the end if thats what you desire. Physical arousal or mental arousal as well as body arousal are all included in the massage journey and if the cock gets involved that is excellent however it’s not to be the only goal.
I believe I also do this as a way to give myself permission to not be turned on. My sessions are like an athletic marathon at times. I feel like I’m part masseur and part Cirque Du Soleil artist, traversing my clients body while balances on the edges of the table in some form of plank hovered over the top rather than just splayed on top of them. My experience with being physical and being turned is that those two generally don’t exist in the same universe for me personally. I will never be a top as that action of being physical and moving and thrusting does not align with me being relaxed and turned on. For me to be turned on I need to be laying down on my back and in a perfect world a man cradling my neck and kissing me gently while playing with my cock. That is my idea of heaven.
My experience with sensual massage is also chequered.
The four or five times that I had sensual massage and there was not a conversation at the beginning to set the parameters of arousal I have struggled. My mind goes to the place where there is an expectation to be aroused and because there was an expectation it did not happen. The expectation of having to get aroused reduces my stimulation to a point where my cock just crawls up inside me. The one time where this was not the case was the time when a sexy masseur and I communicated beforehand about our issues with arousal. In that conversation we both expressed our fear of performance as well as coming and staying hard. And in that session both of us became super turned on and both came very very hard. On reflection afterwards we both realised that our minds are extremely powerful and if we do not give the mind permission to turn off, by giving both parties permission to either be turned on or not, we wouldn’t be turned on.
Most of my sessions are built around the idea that from the beginning to the end there’s some type of arousal and touch. Rather than it being a traditional massage and then a quick poke at the cock and an ejaculation. There is an initial stimulation of the cock or the foreskin with brushes past it to create excitement and anticipation. These slight and seemngly inadvertent sensations I believe create excitement and anticipate.
Erections definitely come and they go. Unlike what porn tells us where the cocks are super hard all the time! Having been in massage “porn” myself and editing my own content I know that I cut around the footage to create the most enticing and stimulating images for the viewer. In my shoots there are plenty of times where a talent goes off to the side and goes and gets hard again before we start rolling. So I’m aware being a porn creator that what I’m creating in regards to content is actually something that might be not helping people like myself feel comfortable by modelling hardness all the time. So yes I’m aware I’m both in the solution and part of the problem. I always occilate between two worlds in all my affairs.
In my experience throughout a massage of an hour the hard on’s come and go (excuse the pun) between five to ten times. I believe that coming and going increases anticipation and the excitement of the potential ending.
If you have ever been nervous about the idea of being in a massage and being turned on and that being something that you are fearful of. And if you ever get a chance to have a massage with me, please have that be the first thing that drops out of your mouth so that I can acknowledge it and also diminish any fears at the start. Allowing your mind and nervous system permission to switch off and allow your body to do what it’s designed to do.
Hopefully you will have a similar experience to me where once the mind is off the cock is up. Or not…it’s totally up to you.
